TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
