Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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