those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize