i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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