He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
