yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
