wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
