We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
