Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
