Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
