Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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