Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize