I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
