i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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