I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
