We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
