new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
