do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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