yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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