There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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