you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
