Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
