she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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