She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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