dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
