I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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