hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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