i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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