one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
