i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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