just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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