you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize