ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what day is it and did you see me today?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
