Your tits are I can't wait for
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
