Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
