I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
