so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We just shotgunned beers for America
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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