i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
