I love having hate sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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