Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
