normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize