we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
