Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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