Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
