Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
