So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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