I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
