Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
