I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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