Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
