Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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