The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
