It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize