Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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