I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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