dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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