Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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