He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
