hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
