You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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